I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
