Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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