She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
