I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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