that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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