Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize