$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
