He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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