not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
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Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
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I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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