just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
