I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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