pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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