I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
