I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
