You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
