no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
