2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
