There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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