Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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