Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
