Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize