we're making bets on your personal life
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
