The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm always down for nudity.
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