a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
