Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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