Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
