I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
