i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
