i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I would fuck him just for his dog
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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