i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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