ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
