I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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