When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
