You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
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are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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