i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
