I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
