White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
