in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
