What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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