i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
