Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
no more duck duck goose at the bar
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
