Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
