I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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