She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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