11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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