I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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