Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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