I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize