If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
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He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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