I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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