Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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