No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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