Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
