i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
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The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
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i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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