direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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