my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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