I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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