I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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