I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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