Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
