And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
